Elevator Doors Podcast Episode 6: Three Word Preview

Episode 6 of the podcast is up! Talking about Eastern Conference previews using only three words, a dash of #KD2DC and a smidge of Wizards updates!

The Red Shirt Theory: Northwest Division

Here’s the recap of the genesis of the Red Shirt Theory. Now we’re covering the Northwest division.

Utah Jazz

Diante Garrett. 1048 minutes in 71 games and he managed a 21.7 turnover percentage. 3.5 points, 1.4 rebounds and 1.7 assists per game. So not only did Garrett not do much in his 14.8 minutes per game, but also turned the ball over over 1/5th of his handles. The Jazz were crazy bad last year even though they have a young promising lineup, but if Garrett is eating up that many bench minutes, they won’t exit the cellar for a while.

NBA: Preseason-Denver Nuggets at Los Angeles Lakers

Photo credit: rantsports

Denver Nuggets

Darrell Arthur. A PER of 9.4 in 68 games. He had the second worst Offensive Win Share of the team with -0.5. 5.9 points and 3.1 rebounds per game. His FG percentage was 39.5%. Arthur was in his fourth year out of the pedigree college of University of Kansas, but those numbers on a poor team like the Nuggets were hard to hide.

Minnesota Timberwolves

Alexey Shved. The Twolves guard who was once famously told by teammate Ricky Rubio to “Put a smile on your face” had little to smile about last year. He had a 10.2 PER with a 32.1 FG% and an average of only 4.0 points per game. Shved was highly touted as another European prospect supposed to take off in the NBA, but so far, has not even taken off his warmups in an effective manner yet.

Portland Trailblazers

Joel Freeland. 52 games, but no starts, and in 14 minutes a game, averaged 3.3 points a game. His FG average was 47.5% but he only averaged 3.1 attempts a game. Being a backup will get you some limited time, and being behind Robin Lopez probably didn’t help. But Freeland could learn a few things from Sideshow Rob.

NBA: Houston Rockets at Oklahoma City Thunder Photo credit: sbnation

Kendrick Perkins. Oh Perk. The Thunder lost in the Western Conference Finals and were derided all playoffs by Scott Brooks insistence of using Kendrick Perkins. His ineffectiveness on the floor lead to a 6.3 PER. He had 8.8 points, 12.7 boards, but also 7.4 fouls and 3.7 turnovers. His OWS was -0.9 and DWS 1.7. For a team without much depth behind Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant, the fact that Perkins was allowed to be on the starting five is a poor showing by Scott Brooks. And it seems he’ll be back next year!

 

Elevator (Doors) Pitch: I should be signed to Under Armour

Dear Under Armour,

Sorry to hear Kevin Durant turned you down to stay with Nike. That’s a rough blow. But if you’re looking for another Maryland native to sign for endorsement, I will nominate myself for such a role.

Pros

Also a Maryland native

Exempting the nine-months I lived in Charleston, South Carolina after college, I’ve never left the residency of Maryland. Even for college I went to a school outside of Baltimore. No, not that one, one of the shitty ones.

Familiarity with your company

My friend Magda did data analysis for you guys for a while, and at a passover dinner I met a girl who works in the AOL office that shares a building with you guys. Want to talk about how weird it is that AOL is still around?

I’m cheap

Look I know you were offering KD a lot of money, and I don’t need that much. Honestly I don’t even need half that. Maybe a quarter of that, but looking more at a third.

Cons

I am not athletic nor famous

But hey, you’ve got less than 1% of the shoe market locked up. Why not take a chance?

To make meetings at your Locust Point office, I will require a boat ride

I’ve done it before, it only takes a couple of minutes. You guys can join in!

I’m lazy

I’m not gonna do a lot of promotion, I’ll tell you that much. Can I do it from Skype?

 

Jodorowsky’s Team: Utah Jazz

Photo Credit: http://ignacioreyo.wordpress.com

Noted Surrealist Film Director Alejandro Jodorowsky has provided notes to Dennis Lindsey on how to get the most out of his players this off-season.

Trevor Booker – “Use food from a cookbook that only exists in the mind of a child.”

Trey Burke – “Try using accupuncture, but without needles.”

Alec Burks – “The lettuce is calling. Do not pick up.”

Derrick Favors – “Decide you’re a Lifesaver candy, which flavor are you?”

Gordon Hayward “Your girlfriend JUST got out of high school? Bruh…”

Enes Kanter – “I’m sure those kids gave you a terrible nickname, embrace it this year.”

Steve Novak – “You’re spirit animal is an empty box of tissues.”

Dante Exum – “Does your shot turn around the rim in the other direction?”

Quin Snyder – “Glorious hair. Glorious hair. Let your hair sing the song.”

 

WNBA Link Dump

I did a couple of things on the end of the WNBA season. I was featured in a Q&A with Christy Winter Scott about the Washington Mystics chances in the playoffs (they got swept in the first round)

Part 1- http://www.bulletsforever.com/2014/8/20/6033247/mystics-wnba-playoff-preview-christy-winters-scott-andy-livingston-panel-part-1

Part 2- http://www.bulletsforever.com/2014/8/21/6046217/mystics-2014-wnba-playoff-preview-part-2

I also took a look into the play of Mystics second year forward Emma Meesseman

http://www.swishappeal.com/2014/8/4/5968043/why-the-mystics-should-be-riding-the-m-train

And the interior passing of the Minnesota Lynx

http://www.swishappeal.com/2014/8/8/5982673/pass-the-lynx-on-the-left-hand-side